Appropriately Loving the "Unlovable"

Some people are easier to love than others. Our family and friends are easy, usually. The elderly, children, the disabled maybe less so, but not by much (if at all). You know the "Ouch!" is coming ... wait for it ...

Jesus didn't say to love most of our neighbors, or that certain people are exceptions to His command. If Jesus died for a person - and we know He did, regardless of the person - we are to love that person. There's no escape hatch. That command includes people in the custody of the justice system. That command includes people who are destroying themselves - drugs, drinking and more. That command includes the "monsters" of our time (seriously, if Paul had a chance to preach to Nero, do you think he would said, "No! You aren't worthy!").

Obviously, some of that is hypothetical. How many Christians are likely to come face to face with Bashir Assad of Syria or Kim III of Korea? But it means that we should bring practical love to “unlovable” people with whom we do have contact and opportunity. And it means that we should pray for the monstrous, that their destructiveness would be overcome, of course, but also that God would change their hearts. Along those latter lines, God's had some “kids” whose BC lives were pretty monstrous.

Loving at a distance is relatively easy (though not necessarily without value) – good feelings, maybe a contribution to a relevant charity. It's when the “unlovable” person(s) are nearby or friends/family where it gets tough. Then it means giving time. It can mean giving money or things to that person. It can mean rubbing elbows with that person, when they are being self-destructive or ungrateful or just generally abrasive and sharp-elbowed. It means loving intelligently, a 5-gallon bucket of worms. Does intelligent love mean bailing some one out of a problem? Or might intelligent love mean letting that person experience the consequences of self-destructiveness, and “being there” for them as they walk through it? To ask is to answer … yes, and we will always be making those choices with our limited understanding.

The Helpless, the Impaired, and Societal Compassion

I've written before about how society's and God's views of the value of a human being are quite different. Society looks at stuff like a person's wealth, career, perceived intelligence, athletic abilities, outward beauty. God set that value at the life of His Son Jesus.

Using society's standards, certain people aren't worth very much: people with physical or mental limitations or infirmities; old people; children and babies (and stay-at-home Moms, but that's a whole different post!). These are all people who society deems not to be contributing to society - goods and services and/or prestige. And in those terms, they don't, and in fact "take" from society.

But even on just a human level - ignoring things eternal and God's view of His creatures - the elderly, children and the mentally or physically disabled or infirm actually give societies something greater than what can be measured in money or prestige. These "helpless" people cause others to see beyond themselves and their own welfare, to care about and care for people less able or unable to care for themselves. A society replete with people who care about and for others is far more rich than a society of people narrowly focused on their own wealth and interests. And far more pleasant.

Walking a Half Marathon

Last Sunday I walked in the San Jose Half Marathon, with a finishing time of a little over three and a half hours. That's not exactly spectacular - some people were finishing before I reached the half-way point. But it was significant for me. Two years ago I was 65 pounds heavier, and very out of shape. A year ago briskly walking 3 miles was a bit of a challenge. I thought attempting a half-marathon was not a realistic idea. With encouragement from my wife and son, and with the experience of preparing for and doing a 5 mile event last spring, I decided to take the available 6 months to work up to what I did last Sunday. This is the kind of thing about which I don't mind being wrong. Thanks, family!

A Different World ...

It recently struck me how much things have changed in US culture in the past five decades (most of my life span thus far). When I was growing up (insert dinosaur joke here), I cannot remember even one school mate whose parents were divorced. Not one was the child of a never-married woman. None, and none. And in all the school years when it might have happened, I can remember just one girl who got pregnant.

If recent common "stats" are to be believed, on the order of half the kids in an average public school classroom today have gone through their parents getting divorced. More than 3 in 8 were born to unmarried mothers (3 out of 4 in some areas!). And on the order of 1 in 3 girls will become mothers during their teen years - not necessarily all unmarried or during their school years. Even more will have one or more abortions, killing their child (not necessarily knowing that is what they are doing).

This is a very different culture than that in which I was raised! These aren't numbers in columns. These are children wounded by divorce. These are children who have half of what used to be normal parental input - wisdom, love and care. These are children raised without knowing what a secure relationship or a stable marriage looks and feels like. These are children who will be having children, raising children, while themselves needing to grow up. All these traumas were the second-hand experiences of my (now grown) children. Further, these are the experiences and expectations that have molded the current and coming generations of parents, what they have and will communicate to their children. Their experiences are so different from mine that I almost feel like I'm a different sub-species of human.

My Life Really Is in God's Hands!

I hesitate somewhat to post about this as it's yet in process and involves people I know and love. I'm not the person going through the things I allude to, nor one of the persons most affected by them. But this is something that is both stirring my thoughts and emotions ... God is working in me through it. I pray no one is hurt by my posting some of my thoughts ... I'm not aware of anything potentially hurtful in what follows.

A friend who has for years been very healthy and very active is now going through an unexpected serious health problem. While he has taken very good care of his health - better than I have until recently - he may soon see face to face with the God he has long served. The unexpectedness and suddenness of this is likely disturbing to him, and probably even more so to his wife. I'm sure this is not at all the kind of thing they expected for this time in their life together.

Taking care of our bodies (as he has) is right, it's taking care of something given us by God. But ultimately none of us has control of our lifespan - my body is impacted, internally and externally, by sin - my own, that of others around me, that of the entire human race going back to Adam. The One Who does have control over my life is God, and I have to trust Him in and with whatever life brings, regardless of my expectations. God ultimately cares and knows more than I do about what is good for me. That's easy to write; doing it when stuff is happening around (or to) me is challenging!