"Speaking the Truth in Love"

A "brilliant" realization struck me yesterday morning while driving to work, regarding Ephesians 4:15:

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ

My responsibilities in this are "simple". I am responsible to speak the truth. I am responsible to be motivated by love. And I am responsible to speak lovingly. I am not responsible for the other person's response.

Compromising the truth, obscuring the truth or speaking just part of the truth, however motivated, is a failure to speak the truth. Failing to speak needed full truth out of concern for the other person's "feelings" is also a failure of love. And clubbing some one with the truth is an obvious failure of love.

These are things I can control, and being fully truthful and loving are tough enough. I cannot control what the other person does. They may take the truth to heart and start the process of walking in it. They may get angry, defensive and walk away from our friendship. My responsibilities are to speak the truth, clearly, fully, and lovingly. I must trust the Holy Spirit to persuade the other person of that truth and their need for it. I must resist the temptation to play Holy Spirit, and trust Him to do His "job". The other person is responsible for their response. I must resist the temptations to assume responsibility for things I cannot control and for which I am not responsible.